Fear of unknown

I think that my social anxiety has a lot to do with the fear of unknown or something unexpected.

On Thursday I applied for a job of a housekeeper (it’s the best job in my opinion, doesn’t involve with dealing peoples’ emotions). As I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve asked on my CV application to contact me via e-mail. Why would an employer call a “housekeeper candidate”, if she literally asked to contact her by e-mail. Besides, housekeeping is not about communicating to the customers, it’s about keeping their rooms cleaning.

Anyway, I got a call from them on Friday three times, however, I didn’t pick up their calls because I was afraid of the caller’s voice. In the past, when I was applying for the jobs I’ve received not so nice calls from the employers whose voices were kind of pissed off or didn’t sound quite friendly. Since then, I hate picking up any phone calls.
And that I would call a fear of unknown, because how am I supposed to know in what mood the caller is and how she/he is going to talk to me. This is why how I fight my fear by just ignoring callers. Yet again, I’m the one who suffers because I won’t get any job, if people keep calling me and I keep ignoring them.

I was very mad at myself that I couldn’t answer the phone calls on Friday. Also, I was sad that people don’t respect my request.

I feel that my fears are taking over my powers of controlling myself and they are damaging me every day. Why do people have to be such scary creatures. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have any emotions, I think I would have the guts to take control of my life.

These are my messy thoughts for today.

Thank you!

One thought on “Fear of unknown

  1. I literally can identify: I hate picking up the phone. In fact, just before reading your article, the phone rang and instead of answering, I just muted it and put the receiver down on the table. I have no idea why I’m so reluctant (or, perhaps, afraid) to answer phone calls. Anyway, great blog! Blessings … oh, and I hope you get the job you really want!


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